So what is this codependency?

I first heard this word talking with my sponsor. She said, you are codependent. I'm like what?

She gave me a book and I read about it.

I'm thinking, it's true. I walk on eggshells, being miserable, trying to please everyone so I could be happy. What makes sense about this? Nothing absolutely nothing.

What she was talking about was my incessant talking and discussion of my estranged husband, and why I could not stop pleasing him, even though we were living in different places, living different lives. Why did I continue to allow him to control my every thought, and action? Why was it if he wasn't happy; was wasn't I happy? It was as if, I left said goodbye, but still couldn't stop the contact. Giving in to his demands.

It was as if I felt I was in this box or prison, still, and I was spinning. Same story, same feelings, same behaviors just the physical location had changed. I still took me with me.

Yet, I was then stuck in the cycle. I did not know how to change the setting on that washing machine. It was clearly set to spin cycle and stuck or so I thought about 5 years ago.

I know now I can move my arm, look at the choices there, and change it. I can move it past the spin cycle. It's up to me to make the change.

Someone had to tell me, show me, I had to accept the fact it was my choice to change it, then stand on my choice and change.

Because inevitably, I will have to wash clothes again. It's called life on life's terms which happens each and every day.

Debbie Sherrick in her video on Codependency Explains the Truths and Myths on Codependency at the link below

Debbie Sherrick Codependency Life Coach